I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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