Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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