careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
