Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
