Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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