wakey wakey hands off snakey
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
