I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
