the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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