Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
