Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My balls are so social today.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Found your dick twin last night
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
