Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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