I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i think i just lost a toe
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
