yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
