She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
