Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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