I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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