The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
