You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
