Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
