We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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