Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize