I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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