I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
