nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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