Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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