2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
