i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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