whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
