I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
