I'm so fucking centered right now
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
