There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
