Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
