and next time when you feel me up, do it right
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
