Your tits are I can't wait for
I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
