guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
