no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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