I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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