Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
