i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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