I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
