Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
