My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
