i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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