So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize