I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
