4 words: hood of his car
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
