I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
