Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
