If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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