omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
