So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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