out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
