do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She even gives head with a lisp.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
