Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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