We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I need help removing her.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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