I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
