real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
