No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
