Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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