Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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