Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
