So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
