My room smells like vodka and shame
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
how does that bad decision feel?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
